Top Fuel Motorcycle legend Larry “Spiderman” McBride was deeply saddened to learn of the passing of his respected friend, longtime AMA/Prostar top-end official Jim Kizer.
So often, McBride relied on Kizer and his watchful eyes. Kizer was there to take action if anything went wrong during or after a run.
While fondly reminiscing about his late pal, McBride recalled a humorous story.
The Top Fuel veteran was opening his season at Gainesville Raceway in the late 90s. After a long, smoky, burnout, Spiderman suddenly felt an excruciating, shooting pain right on the head of his most sensitive body part.
Despite the incredible agony, McBride decided to endure the abuse instead of aborting the run.
“I was in tears it hurt so bad. I was convinced a bee was stinging me or something was inside my underwear biting me,” McBride said. “It was awful.”
Unbeknownst to him, McBride’s crotch was actually being jabbed by an imperfection in a brand new set of skintight leathers.
After the run, McBride quickly parked his record-breaking machine and frantically stripped down as quickly as he could in an attempt to stop the pain.
As usual, Kizer was the first to come to Spiderman’s aid. The attentive official knew something was wrong before McBride even got off the motorcycle.
“Larry, are you ok?” yelled Kizer as he swiftly approached McBride, who was on his knees with his back turned.
Confused, in pain and still trying to figure out what was wrong, McBride had his bare manhood in his hand by the time Kizer got to him.
“I don’t need to see all that,” Kizer said. “I’m glad you are ok, but I don’t need to see all that.”
The two erupted in laughter. It was exactly the comic relief needed.
“I’ll never forget how hard we laughed,” McBride said. “Jim was always there when we needed him. It’s very dangerous what we do. Just knowing he was there always made me feel comfortable.”
McBride also recalled one time Kizer did something for McBride’s brother that Spiderman says is nearly impossible.
“Steve was furious. He was in a horrible mood over something that was going on at the track. There was nothing we could say to him to calm him down,” McBride said. “Jim came over and took him behind my trailer and talked to him for a few minutes. The next thing we know Steve comes back and he was fine. Jim had that special ability. He really knew how to talk to people and make people feel better.”
So many racers have echoed that sentiment.
“I will miss him dearly,” McBride said.